las esperanzas de verano

I think that summer has a lot of expectations, and just like expectations that we might have for other people, they are hard to live up to. Finally, the sun is out, things have stopped breaking down in the house and I am finding time to walk around a lot (even if it is to starbucks or the grocery store and back). Yet there is still something so unsatisfying about life. Yesterday, two things have started changing this.

The first was an article that I read in Whitworth's Rock & Sling written by a friend of mine. The article, "Let it be in Blood", genuinely made me think about what Christ's sacrifice for me is. It is so easy to accept that Christ died so that my sins be washed away when you have been raised just taking this for granted. In the article, Jacquie mentions a piece written by a 17 year old young man called "The Room". I of course went and looked this article up to better understand what Jacquie was trying to say. "The Room" is the story of a young man who enters a room full of note cards which he comes to find hold descriptions of every though he has had or action he has taken (or not taken). Many of these cards contain things that he is not proud of, that he wants no one to see. After he has found the cards containing thoughts that he had, he turns around to find Christ in the room. As the boy tries to ask Christ to leave, he slowly walks around the room, picking up each and every card and writing his name on it in blood. God recognizes every thing about me, my thoughts, my actions, things I am proud of, things that I am ashamed of and he will still come beside me and say 'struggle, Nanda, keep trying to find me, keep trying to live for me, that is what matters."

The second thing that has started changing things was going through old facebook pictures of me. I was in the pursuit of a new profile picture (as happens when you are bored) and started flipping through my pictures backwards, from high school on. Part of me looked back at high school and wished I still looked like that, but I've realized that in high school I had a lot of trouble with fitting in. No matter how proud I was of decisions that I made, part of me always wished that I was completely accepted into the culture that was my school and my youth group. I realized that with the impending end of college and move that comes along with that, I am terrified by the idea of starting over again. Which is kind of ironic since I am moving to Costa Rica for three months starting in September. So I am now embarking on the constant journey of learning what it means to be myself. I'm going to throw out expectations that I think other people have for me, and just try and be myself, someone that everyone hopefully appreciates and enjoys being around. :)

Meanwhile, this is the playlist that I just created which I am incredibly excited to listen to:

Danza Kuduro - Don Omar
Ven a Bailar (on the floor) - JLo ft. Pitbull
On the Floor (english version) - JLo ft. Pitbull
Give me Everything - Pitbull ft. Neyo and Afrojack
Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO ft Lauren Bennett and GoonRock
Bon, Bon - Pitbull
I Like It - Enrique Inglesias ft Pitbull
Gasolina - Daddy Yankee

Very "Pop Latino". Love it. And, I need suggestions to add to this list! Give me some!

spokane skipped summer

So of all the summers that have been available to me, I decided to stay in Spokane for this one. The one that happens to be cold, wet and somewhat blustery. Don't get me wrong, I like the rain, but when you have had a spring like this year, it gets old really fast.

The good news is, I get to see family very soon, I've fully moved in to my house, I have WONDERFUL summer housemates, froyo-earth has opened just north of school and tonight I think I shall bake. Summer has been unremarkable. My job has treated me well and I have spent some good time with friends, but I think there is something to having spontaneous moments in life. I don't really have many of those. I think I like to plan too much. Someone make me do something spontaneous. Please? 

WOAH

WHERE DID THE LAST THREE YEARS GO?






I am not ready for more change.