food for thought

I have recently been assailed by reminders to trust God. A friend wrote me a thank you card, today I reread it when I found it in my backpack. His last words: TRUST GOD. I'm reading Simply Jesus by N.T. Wright and have been profoundly challenged in where the basis of my faith comes from and how hard it is to the simplest things God asks me to do.

I'm interviewing for a position that would take me to Egypt this week. The other two I was looking at fell through. How do I know that it was God making them fall through? How do I know if I am supposed to say yes? Wait until after the interview, I guess.

if You are willing...

I don't know where to begin seeing as I am in mid-thought at the moment, so we shall see.

I feel incredibly selfish. I am taking a semester chalk-full of incredible classes: sociology of education, European myths of identity, contemporary sociology, TAing for modern global lit and the Gospel of John. I am so excited about them, but at the same time am ridiculously overwhelmed by trying to balance them, their workloads (already), trying to exercise, remembering to eat, worrying about what being gluten and lactose free is doing to my body in the sense of probably lacking things like iron and calcium, wishing I talked to my family more and trying to find time to spend by myself and with friends. The conundrum of all college students.

You would think living off campus would make you more on top of getting homework done.

So what do I do? I want to pray, requesting peace or the ability to focus more than I think I can. Coming back to take five 250-430 level classes is a shock when you haven't taken more than one class at once since last May.

In chapel yesterday, Mindy was talking about prayer from Mark 1:40 "A man with leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, "If you are willing, you can make me clean.'" How do I accept that maybe a prayer won't be answered? Being perfectly honest, my prayer right now is "Lord, if you are willing, please let me stop having to say goodbye to people." One that I wish I didn't have to preface with 'if you are willing'.