on friendship

"Friendship is acting out of God's love for people in tangible ways. We were made to represent the love of God in each other's lives, so that each person we walk through life with has a more profound sense of God's love for them. Friendship is an opportunity to act on god's behalf in the lives of the people that we're close to, reminding each other who God is. When we do the hard, intimate work of friendship, we bring a little more of the divine into daily life. We get to remind one another about the bigger, more beautiful pictures that we can't always see from where we are."

 - cold tangerines by Shauna Niequist (pg. 49)

I have lately been reading this book, cold tangerines, where Shauna Niequist tells stories of faith and life from a perspective that is so incredibly relatable. I think it's exactly what I have been needing to hear lately. Being so far away from my closest friends has made me so thankful and regretful at the same time. I feel like I spent so much time getting to know a large number of people that I sometimes failed to be a good friend. Niequist is reminding me that it is okay to be an imperfect person. Instead, true friendship involves risks, fears and doubts. I have always wondered, if I really open up with someone, will they still love me and want to be my friend? This is a fear that so many people have and so many people share. Why not take a few minutes and think about those friends you want to know better and maybe challenge yourself to be more intentionally open and honest with them? Even if it's scary.

"True friendship is a sacred, important thing, and it happens when we drop down into that deeper level of who we are, when we cross over into the broken, fragile parts of ourselves. We have to give something up in order to get friendship like that. We have to give up our need to be perceived as perfect. We have to give up our ability to control what people think of us. We have to overcome the fear that when they see the depths of who we are, they'll leave. But what we give up is nothing in comparison to what this kind of friendship gives to us. Friendship is about risk. Love is about risk. If we can control and manage it and manufacture it, then its something else, but if it's really love, really friendship, it's a little scary around the edges." 

- cold tangerines by Shauna Niequist (pg. 50)