Life, at its best and worst, can be boiled down to adventuring. What you do with the potential for adventure, though, is up to you.
Part of me constantly wants to take up the adventure but who wants to adventure alone? I keep having people tell me that I will make new friends and meet all kinds of new people, and I know that this is true - I just need a bit of time to process the friendships of the last four years. I feel like our culture is not one that is accepting of grief that oftentimes comes with change. People do not know how to help others when they are hurting, so they play it off by telling you of all the great things to come.
The last four years have taught me what it is to have friends who are incredibly firm in their faith; both through action and word. This has been one of the most incredible blessings along with the marks each friendship has left in my life. I don't have words to really describe the ups and downs of leaving and saying so many goodbyes. I try to hope for 'see you laters,' but how can you anticipate when the next time you see someone will be? This summer started with saying goodbye to Kyle and Kirsti. I still don't know when the next time I will see them is - and they're family!
The thought of people's lives changing without me being there to participate in those friendships is frightening to me. I realized today that I have probably been pushed so far away (and I have most definitely been pushed to Cairo) because I have invested too much of my self-worth in relationships with other people. I am afraid to be disappointed. That is the part of the adventure that I wish would never happen. As I have reflected on my time in Costa Rica, I realized that I was hurt by people who did not keep in touch that I had expected to do so. So I have lately been trying to wean myself of expectations but it hurts almost as much to not expect anyone to keep tabs on me and want our friendships to grow.
Adventure time. It's all the ups and downs. All the people who have graced your life with their presence. Memories to hold on to, but not desperately cling to. I think I will be living off of this list of 'emergency numbers' my friend Jo from HKIS posted on her blog for the next few months (and years).
Part of me constantly wants to take up the adventure but who wants to adventure alone? I keep having people tell me that I will make new friends and meet all kinds of new people, and I know that this is true - I just need a bit of time to process the friendships of the last four years. I feel like our culture is not one that is accepting of grief that oftentimes comes with change. People do not know how to help others when they are hurting, so they play it off by telling you of all the great things to come.
The last four years have taught me what it is to have friends who are incredibly firm in their faith; both through action and word. This has been one of the most incredible blessings along with the marks each friendship has left in my life. I don't have words to really describe the ups and downs of leaving and saying so many goodbyes. I try to hope for 'see you laters,' but how can you anticipate when the next time you see someone will be? This summer started with saying goodbye to Kyle and Kirsti. I still don't know when the next time I will see them is - and they're family!
The thought of people's lives changing without me being there to participate in those friendships is frightening to me. I realized today that I have probably been pushed so far away (and I have most definitely been pushed to Cairo) because I have invested too much of my self-worth in relationships with other people. I am afraid to be disappointed. That is the part of the adventure that I wish would never happen. As I have reflected on my time in Costa Rica, I realized that I was hurt by people who did not keep in touch that I had expected to do so. So I have lately been trying to wean myself of expectations but it hurts almost as much to not expect anyone to keep tabs on me and want our friendships to grow.
Adventure time. It's all the ups and downs. All the people who have graced your life with their presence. Memories to hold on to, but not desperately cling to. I think I will be living off of this list of 'emergency numbers' my friend Jo from HKIS posted on her blog for the next few months (and years).
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