stories

Stories are incredibly important. A program was put on at school where part of my story was read along with many others. This is what I wrote:

I am a daughter of two fathers, earthly and heavenly.

                 a sister, a friend

I am your typical student, academic, social, extroverted a “face” of Whitworth, a leader.

My hair is blonde, occasionally red, and my eyes are blue

People assume I am like them

That I am from Oregon, Washington, Colorado, California; somewhere near, somewhere people can understand.

But I am not.

I am a chameleon, I can fit anywhere

You think you know me, you think you understand.

I have been persecuted for my faith, for my skin color, for my passport country.

I was born in a country where English is the second official language.

I have lived in a warzone, where life might end at any point

I have tramped through the Amazon, gone sand boarding in the Sahara.

             Tubing in the Alps and hiking on the Nakasendo trail. 

I could chose to be who you assume I am

I could deny my culture and pretend to fit in because it is easy

But I am myself, my background has formed me

I do not have a home church, a hometown, a home anything

My family is my home

Sometimes, many times, I wish I had those things.

I struggle.

Though they are fallen, people are good

They are small reflections of Christ in the world

I have people who have come beside me

To share in my struggles, to fill me up

I have found joy, and I will cling to it. 

hardship and joy

What happens when you are afraid of silence?

...existence?

There comes a point when you are just tired of caring what people think about you. It is exhausting. When you feel drained and like nothing is going to pull you out of that hole what can you do? Spend quality time with friends who build up your Faith, not just your mood. And with Jesus. Harder to do than said. When you start digging into that relationship, things happen to try and push you away and not be close to Him. It's terrifying when you think about it.

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Reading - I'm sick of it. Never thought I'd say that. Maybe because my religious themes in modern literature class is a bunch of really depressing books.

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What is your refuge? When you are in pain, where do you go? When you are empty, what fills you up? Who fills you up?

Why are those questions so hard to answer?

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I wish I had the ability to not compare myself to other people.

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Faults are easy to find, do something difficult and look for good things about other people, AND yourself.

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The ocean waves lap up on the shore
It is nearly silent, nearly perfect
Laughter resonates over the water
Six friends dance breaking the stillness
It is well.
The winds begin to shriek
The waves crash
The skies darken
Still they dance, still they sing.

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Spring break is great, no matter how you're feeling :)